From the age of 15 up until 20 years old, I tried to commit suicide. I was always told I was going to hell for the things that I was doing. I always felt different from other people. I grew up hating myself because in the church that I grew up in, it was taught that it was a sin to be a homosexual. Around the ages of 13 and 14, I knew in my mind that I was attracted to the same sex. But I couldn’t tell people. So I hated myself.
When I was getting loaded, I didn’t have to worry about adult problems. I didn’t have to worry about if I do this will I be able to pay my bills or if I didn’t go to work today, will I still have a job? I didn’t do any of that. Now being sober I actually have time to think about things that before I didn’t. That feels really good. I get to be present in my mom’s and my family’s life.
I came to this place in 2016 for the first time. The difference between this place, Wavelengths, and the others was I noticed that this place with real family-oriented. They had a lot to offer. When I say they have a lot offer, you know, they have a lot of young staff members and I was able to visually see that they had somebody else going through what I’m going through or is around my age bracket, that’s willing to help and they don’t want nothing from me. Because I didn’t have no money when I came here. All I came in with was ego and a little bit of humility.
I felt like this place was home. I felt like it was a family. I thought that I didn’t have a lot to offer. But when Warren converses with me, he doesn’t talk to me and as if I’m worthless. He tells me, “Hey, so I’m going to have you do this over here. I’m going to have you going to this meeting over here. I’m going to have you help this client out over here.” And what they did was a give me responsibility. It made me feel like I was worth something and so for some odd reason, I felt receptive to Warren, so I never wanted to leave this place.